So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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