Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
