hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize