Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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