Sponge bath it is.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
