you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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