Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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