do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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