oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
