That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
