I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
