I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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