Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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