It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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