my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
