do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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