If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
