do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
