i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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