the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
wow bdsm is so cute
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