Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
