lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Randomize