Tell her she can't have a vagina
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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