I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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