fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
