we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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