and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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