are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
