Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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