I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
