Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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