what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
