So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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