What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
