I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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