Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
