Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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