trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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