..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize