the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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