thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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