I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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