im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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