Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
