i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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