After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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