I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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