Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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