and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Mom said you looked used
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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