we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
