they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize