I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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