Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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