My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
