He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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