Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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