Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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