My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize