So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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