How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I think I won the penis lottery.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I look better un-naked...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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