do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize