I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i wish my penis had a tongue
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Randomize
