I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
