my soul wont recognize me after tonight
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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