I wannas sexs uuuuu
accomplished twins. life is a go
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
