I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
be right there i have to get my cape
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
