I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
