this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
do herpes really smell.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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