omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
